But no matter how intense or difficult the moment, the class, the posture clinic, the lecture or how miserable the 5-hour-long Bollywood movie is, I know I may not have any power over these situations, but I do have the power to change me in the situation, the way I react to the situation. I can choose to bring light and love and lots of positivity, or I can choose to be quiet, small and negative. I can complain out of the overwhelming fear of not learning the dialogue and looking stupid, which leads me to a place of self-pity and remorse, stuck and simply unable and unwilling to get my head to my knee! Does it sound like I’ve made the self-pity, remorse trip choice several times??? Boy, is that a place of emotional turmoil for me and for all those practicing near me! Thank God, it has lasted only a matter of hours, not days …. yet.
I am getting better and better at pulling myself up and acting as if all is wonderful and great. We are all little yogi soldiers, in the trenches, fighting the good fight. We are all trying to keep out of the line of fire, head down and electrolytes replenished. We’ve been learning all about perceptions, choice, self-realization, about how we can chose our reality and in half a second, change it! I have been able to experience that on such a deep level here, yes, but have been doing it ever since beginning Bikram. BYM has taught me this, and being here, I am actualizing it.
Miss you all!